• Child Care, Early Learning and Out-of-School Time Providers
• Early Childhood Education Students
• Educators and Trainers

It is our hope these materials will be shared among providers, educators and students to help better serve children with special needs and their parents. All citations and references should be preserved when information from this site is shared.

• Child-Centered Partnership
• Empathy
• Basic Communication Know-How
  Discussing Sensitive Issues
  
• Opportunities to Communicate
  Communicating About a Possible Special Need
  Communicating About Daily Routines and Existing Special Needs
  
• List of Resources and References

Child care providers are a child's family away from home. Providers might be second only to the family in knowing a child well. Parents and providers together focus their efforts on how best to help children grow and mature into happy, healthy youth and adults. The child is the center of the partnership's attention. Seeing important adults in their life working in harmony puts children at ease and can enhance a child's self esteem.






Seek first to understand the parent from the parent's point of view. Though joyful, parenting is also stressful at times. Parents of children with special needs may experience increased stress. Stress comes from-

• Concern or sometimes grief for the child and the child's future.
• Desire that others will accept, care for and appreciate the child.
• Increased challenges to relationships among spouses, partner, siblings, and other family members.
• Financial stress from increased bills and forced time off work.
• Increased time to schedule health or special education appointments for the child.
• Extra work to assure the child's needs are met.
• Lack of time to meet responsibilities.
• Lack of individual or personal time.

Developing an appreciation of what it might be like to live with this extra stress and practicing an open-minded attitude of tolerance will contribute to effective, warm communication between provider and parent. Most parents, regardless of education, culture, or ethnicity, are motivated to do anything they can to help their children.

Click here for empathy resources and references.

• Recognize that effective communication might take more time at first.
• From the beginning, build a trusting, open relationship based upon clear, honest, compassionate communication.
• Let the parents know you care about and enjoy their child. All parents want their child to be liked by others.
• Practice a positive attitude-attitude is contagious.
• People from varying cultures may have different assumptions about communication styles, but people from all cultures appreciate kindness and courtesy.
• Address questions and concerns when they first arise.
• Ask yourself, "Will this message strengthen the parent partnership?" or "How do I pose my concerns and questions without straining the relationship?"
• Organize your thoughts before talking with the parent.
• Schedule times and a place to talk away from the child.
• Ask the parent questions that might help you understand the parent's point of view.
• When facing criticism or complaints, avoid being defensive. Show calmness and willingness to meet a parent's need.
• Pay attention to your body language, making sure your posture and movements reflect friendliness.
• End conversations with a plan so that each person can get what he or she needs from the communication.
• Sometimes it is helpful to let parents know you want to take time to think about an answer to a question or a request they have.
• Make your program and physical environment "communication friendly" by emphasizing communication at orientation; point out bulletin boards or special posting spots and how they are used; use short, routine newsletters to share information, and have a "note drop box" or designated place for parents to share written information.
• Find out what method of communication works best for the parent-in person, telephone, E-mail, or journal.
• Make parents feel welcome at any time.

Click here for basic communication resources and references.

Click here for resources and references for discussing sensitive issues.






Because child care providers are important people in a child's life, they also are very important people in parents' lives. Parents want to know a provider's observations, knowledge, and understanding of their child. Opportunities to communicate include:

• Communicating about a possible special need.
• Communicating about daily routines and existing special needs.

Communicating about a Possible Special Need

Child care providers might be the first to notice developmental or behavioral concerns with a child. Providers have a unique opportunity to observe how children behave, adapt and learn in a group setting and when away from a parent. It is appropriate and important for the child that providers talk with parents about developmental or behavioral concerns. Yet, it can be difficult to think about approaching parents with a concern about their child. Parents may react in different ways. Some parents might feel relief and be grateful for the chance to share and problem-solve for their child. A few parents might be insulted or angry and fear for their child's safety and health. Talking with parents about their child's special needs is an opportunity for providers to ease parent's loneliness, provide hope, and advocate for the parent and child. In addition to using Basic Communication Know-How, the following techniques can help broach a potentially sensitive issue:

• Jot down a written record of the child's behavior that you have questions or concerns about.
• Think ahead of time what you want to say and what your needs are, and what the parent and child's needs might be.
• Rehearse with fellow care providers or teachers what you plan to say to a parent.
• When you schedule a time to talk with a parent, let them know the topic you would like to discuss.
• When you meet with a parent, be specific, describe what you see, give examples.
• Avoid jumping to conclusions about the child. (For example, "Johnny's ADD!" or "She needs medication!")
• Ask the parent questions so you can understand his/her perception of a situation. Listen closely with an open mind to a parent's explanations.
• Give the parent contact information about reliable programs, services or financial resources you know about for children with special needs. (For example, the CSHCN Coordinator at your local public health department.)
• Ask parents if there is information about their child that they want to remain confidential.

Click here for resources and references for communicating about a possible special need.


Communicating about Daily Routines and Existing Special Needs.

As with all children, quality child care can be good for children with special needs, parents, and providers. Children can benefit from increased social contact and a wider variety of activities than they might experience at home. Parents are able to work and can renew themselves during time away from their child. Providers have an opportunity to learn and practice a specialty skill and to expand their life experience. Once a provider accepts a child with special needs into their care, the following tips for communication can help the partnership grow in trust:

• Remember that parents are the experts when it comes to their child's special needs.
• Talk with the parent about what information they might or might not want to share with other children and parents in the child care setting.
• Children may have many varied conditions that influence daily functioning, so focus on a child's abilities and needs, not "the condition".
• Ask what the best times and ways are for a parent to talk with you.
• Plan time to "touch base" with the parent, if only for a few moments, even when there is nothing special to discuss.
• Jointly develop an action plan, and keep it current, for potentially stressful times such as arrival and departure, and how to comfort the child.
• Adapting an environment or activity may be surprisingly easy. Adaptations can save time and can be fun for providers and other children, too.
• Have special instructions in writing and post them. Posting instructions in a place usable space can help make sure the child's needs are met.
• Some parents may like to have a journal or notebook that goes from home to child care. This serves as a method for asking and answering questions or sharing information about the child on a routine basis.
• Discuss, and write in conjunction with the parent, a plan that addresses any special equipment or procedures for the child in the areas of communication, mobility, sleep, eating, dressing, medication, bowel and bladder and other activities of daily living.
• Ask the parent about the child's needs and also share your knowledge in terms of adapting activities related to gross and fine motor, speech and language, cognition, and social-emotional development.
• Ask parents about books or resources they would like to share with you about their child's condition or characteristics.
• Knowing that all children can grow and develop quickly, build in weekly and monthly times to talk with parents about any changes necessary to keep up with and facilitate the child's continued growth and development.
• When the child transitions out of your program to another setting, ask the parent how you can help in making a smooth transition.

Click here for resources and references for communicating about daily routines and an existing special need.






Empathy

Andrews, Sean. (2003). Talking to Parents-The Child with special needs. InTouch. September. 51, 23. September Retrieved from http://www.into.ie/downloads/pdf/publications/intouch/intouch_sept03.pdf

Fialka, Janice. It Matters-Lessons from My Son. (1997). Contact: Janice Fialka at ruaw@aol.com. Publication information retrieved from http://www.inclusion.com/asfialka.html

Fialka, J. and Mikus, K.C. Do You Hear What I Hear? Parents and Professionals Working Together for Children with Special Needs. (1999). Proctor Publications, LLC. Ann Arbor, Michigan

Simons, R. After the Tears-Parents Talk about Raising a Child with a Disability. (1987). Harcourt, Brace & Company. Orlando, Florida.

Basic Communication Skills

Chronis, P.L. (1994). Communicating with Parents. In Todd, C.M. (Ed.) Child Care Connections. 4(1), 4-5. Retrieved from the National Network for Child Care Web Site: http://www.nncc.org/Families/cc41_comm.parents.html

Fleagin, C. (n.d.). Communicating with Parents. Parents and Child Care. Book available from CARE Courses Web Site: http://www.carecourses.com/CourseCatalog.htm

Myers-Walls, J. A. (2005). Parent-Provider Relationships. Retrieved from Purdue University, Provider-Parent Partnerships Web Site: http://www.ces.purdue.edu/providerparent/Parent-Provider%20Relationships/Main-PPR.htm

Partnering with Families. (n.d.) Retrieved from A Place of Our Own Web Site: http://www.aplaceofourown.org/question_detail.php?id=27

Pitzer, R.L. Communicating with Parents. (1992). Minnesota Extension Service Family ChildCare Newsletter. (June). Retrieved from National Network for Child Care Web Site: http://www.nncc.org/Families/com.parent.html

Discussing Sensitive Issues

Discussing Difficult Issues. Communicating with Parents. (n.d.). Retrieved from Walla Walla Community College Web Site: http://www.wwcc.edu/parent/ccr&r/commparents.cfm#difficult

Morse, N.F. When You Have a Problem. (1992). Day Care Center Connections. 1(6), 6/7. Retrieved from National Network for Child Care Web Site: http://www.nncc.org/Guidance/dc16_when.problem.html

TeKolste, K. Sharing Sensitive News: Communicating Sensitive Subjects to Parents and Children. (n.d.) Retrieved from Washington State Medical Home Leadership Network Web Site: http://medicalhome.org/physicians/share_badnews.cfm

Saraswathy, R. and Myers-Walls, J.A. (2005). Communicating Sensitively with Parents. Retrieved from Purdue University, Provider-Parent Partnerships Web Site: http://www.ces.purdue.edu/providerparent/Parent-Provider%20Relationships/CommunicatingSensitively.htm

Communicating About a Possible Special Need

Bloch, J.A. What Do I Say to Parents When I am Worried About Their Child? (n.d.). Retrieved from Earlychildhood.com Web Site: http://www.earlychildhood.com/Articles/index.cfm?A=208&FuseAction=Article

Communicating Behavioral and Developmental Concerns to Parents. (n.d.). Retrieved from California Child Care Links Web Site: http://www.childcarelinks.org/fyi/fyi_pdf/2pages/COMMUNICATING%20WITH%20PARENTS%20ABOUT%20CHILDREN%20WITH%20SPECIAL%20NEEDS.pdf

Kaiser, B and Rasminsky, J.S. Telling Parents Their Child Needs Help. (1993). Interaction. Winter. Retrieved from Child & Family Canada Web Site: http://www.cfc-efc.ca/docs/cccf/00001_en.htm

Monaghan, P. "I'M WORRIED ABOUT THIS CHILD" Referring Young Children with Developmental Difficulties to Special Services. (1998). Connections. 2.2 Fall. Retrieved from Child & Family Canada Web Site: http://www.cfc-efc.ca/docs/cccns/00001249.htm

Saraswathy, R. and Myers-Walls, J.A. (2005). Talking to Parents About Problems in Development. Retrieved from Purdue University, Provider-Parent Partnerships Web Site: http://www.ces.purdue.edu/providerparent/Parent-Provider%20Relationships/TalkingAboutDev.htm

Communicating About Daily Routines and Existing Special Needs

American Academy of Pediatrics, American Public Health Association, and National Resource Center for Health and Safety in Child Care. Second Edition (2002). Child Care for Infants and Toddlers with Special Needs. Caring for Children, National Health and Safety Performance Standards: Guidelines for Out-of-Home Child Care. Retrieved from National Resource Center for Health and Safety in Child Care Web Site: http://nrc.uchsc.edu/SPINOFF/CSN/CSN.pdf

American Academy of Pediatrics. (1998). Child Care for Children with Special Needs. Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5. Bantam. Retrieved from http://www.medem.com/MedLB/article_detaillb.cfm?article_ID=ZZZUYSNUA7C&sub_cat=13

Communicating with Culturally Diverse Parents of Exceptional Children. (n.d.). ERIC Clearinghouse on Handicapped and Gifted Children. ERIC Digest #E497. ERIC Identifier: ED333619. Retrieved from http://www.ericdigests.org/pre-9220/diverse.htm

Talking to Parents About Special Needs. (n.d.). Retrieved from Kelowna Child Care Society Web Site, British Columbia, Canada: http://www.kelownachildcare.ca/trellis/talkingto

Talking to Parents About Special Needs. (n.d.). Retrieved from Lutheran Community Services Northwest Parent Line Web Site: http://www.lcsnw.org/parentline/child_care/providers/default.asp?aid=40

Together Children Grow-Quality Child Care for Children with Special Needs. (n.d.). Retrieved from the Wisconsin Child Care Information Center Web Site: http://www.dpi.state.wi.us/dpi/dltcl/rll/ccic/pdf/together_ch_g.pdf